The Hey Fatty App?!

Hello folks, let’s chat…I once wasted an entire weekend trying to make an All Things Southern app for your smart phone. The “Easy App Tutorial” would’ve made more sense to me in Pig Latin. Can I get an itness-way?

Not that I knew what I’d put on my app. I just thought it’d be cool to have one. However, I’ve just seen something that makes me and my inner geek want to regroup and try again. I’m talking about a new diet aid from Japan called the “Hey Fatty!” app. In the male version, animated women offer soothing words of encouragement and compliments throughout the day. In the female app, animated men hurl insults at the women dieters. Apparently, this is supposed to make the user want to forego naner pudding for cardboard rice cakes. Right.

For the record, I wouldn’t feel compelled to address these sorts of things if Big Media would pay attention, but no, they’re too busy interviewing the White House Dog about his vacay. So, here we go. I see my app idea working something like this. The Japanese app would say something catty like the remark I saw on Pinterest, “Girl, did you hear that applause when you were jogging? It was your thighs clapping for you!” That’s when my app would say something cute back. I don’t know what that would be. I can’t ever think of good comebacks when I need ‘em.

For example, a while back I was trying to talk myself out of a fat mood. “You’re fine,” I said to myself, “You’re in the same size pants you’ve always worn.” I felt pretty good about that until myself replied, “Look in the mirror, Miss Muffin. You may be in the same pants, but you’re over them and around ‘em, too.”

Oh, yeah, I could’ve definitely used a comic relief app! Warning to my southern belle friends, while I’m developing this thing, y’all might want to think twice about using that “Hey Fatty” app. There is a potential for violence here that does not need to be overlooked. Can you hear me ow-nay?

Hugs, Shellie