The Thrill of Public Weigh-ins

“Clare and Miss Abs”

One of my good email buddies is trying to get in shape for the summer. Clare and her husband bought each other a year’s membership to a local fitness club this past Christmas. They haven’t been there a handful of times, but Clare recently decided it’s time to get her money’s worth. She signed up for their diet and nutrition class that meets twice a week. Clare told me straight up that she doesn’t think she’ll like it. The class participates in one of those weight loss programs where everyone keeps a food journal and submits to weekly weigh-ins.

Yesterday was the first meeting of the spring session. Clare was surprised to find that the leader of the class is a perky little aerobic clothes wearing kindergartner whom Clare fondly refers to as Miss Abs. As you can see, Clare has a great attitude. That’s important when you’re starting something like this.

Miss Abs greeted everybody with a big smile and announced, “Now, I’d like to see where we are in our fitness goals. Why don’t y’all take turns telling the group what you’ve been doing to better yourselves?” There wasn’t exactly a clamor of volunteers. Clare said a few people even laughed. A couple of the heavier women spoke up and admitted that they weren’t really doing anything productive. This news seems to hit Miss Abs in her rock hard stomach, but to her credit, she pulled herself together and smiled at the rest of the group. After a moment or so of her pleading for volunteers with her big blue eyes an obviously overweight woman spoke up. “I eat moderately,” she said. “I drink water religiously and I exercise frequently.”

“Hmmm,” Miss Abs said, clearly confused. “Is there anything else you need to add?”

“Well, yes,” the woman said with a grin. “I lie extensively.”

Hugs, Shellie