An Important PSA from the Belle of All Things Southern

Hello folks, let’s chat…This is one of those times when I feel compelled to bring you a public service announcement for the good of all mankind. This is an actual emergency. If I were making a funny, I’d tell you. I’m as serious as Elvis was about his blue suede shoes.

I’ve recently learned about an appalling new wedding trend called the Non Invite. Brace yourselves, southern matriarchs. There are people mailing out wedding announcements that read, “We’re getting married. You’re not invited.”

I know you need time to let that sink in, y’all, but we’ll need to act quickly to head this off. I’m told the Non Invite is supposed to gently let people know whether or not they’re invited (because apparently not getting an invitation isn’t a big enough clue) but it sounds like the rudest nana-nana-boo-boo of all time to me! I know first-graders with better manners.

I suspect the real motive is securing a wedding gift from more people but I don’t think the bride has thought that through. I don’t see it working out well, or as my friend Paulette said, “Sending my family and friends a Non Invite might buy you a prize but it won’t be anything listed on your registry.”

The Non Invite idea needs to be squashed before it gains a footing and seeps into the larger culture. Can you imagine living in a world where you could get a note that reads, “We’re cooking barbecue but you can’t smell it.”

Girls, we all realize that making out a guest list can drive a belle straight running crazy. If you are genuinely concerned that you might offend someone, let me put your mind at rest. You will. You will inevitably overlook people who want to come and invite others who’ll wonder how they made the list. When someone gets overlooked just follow the time-honored tradition of our mothers, their mothers, and their mothers before them. Plead ignorance.

“Of course you were invited!”

“You mean you didn’t get your invitation?”

Unlike the Non Invite—it’s fool proof.

Hugs, Shellie