I’ve Been Afraid of This
Hello folks, let’s chat…Week in and week out I do my dead level best to try and keep y’all entertained, informed, inspired– and protected. Towards that end, I’m here today with a SRC medical alert.
Longtime listeners will remember that SRC is the acronym I created for Straight Running Crazy, a condition whereby one is no longer detouring from more lucid positions, hence they’ve gone straight running crazy. New listeners can read more about this dangerous condition in my humor books and join our SRC foundation on Facebook. But, I must move on, research has come in to support what I’ve suspected for quite some time. Apparently, stupid really is contagious.
Scientists at John Hopkins Medical School and the University of Nebraska contend that they’ve discovered a virus that makes you stupid. They say it challenges the brain’s thinking functions, affecting spatial awareness and visual processing. And get this, they tested volunteers and found a high percentage of ’em had the stupid virus lying dormant in their throats.
I’d love to know how they selected these volunteers and how they broke the news to the poor souls who flunked out. There’s only so much you can do with that good news/bad news trick.
Don’t freak out on me, y’all, but this explains a lot of what we’re seeing on the evening news. Exhibit A, ripped straight from the headlines: A giant solar plant in California that received a government-backed $1.6-billion dollar loan has gone belly up. So, what are they doing? Applying for a government grant — to help pay off their government loan. Somebody’s not covering their mouths when they cough.
Lookahere, I have some hair-dos in the eighties that would suggest I’ve carried this virus a couple of times myself, but that’s beside the perm. I mean the point. We need to raise awareness and fast. Our struggling job market can’t take another hit. If news gets out, this could be yet another blow to work productivity. I can hear it now. “Sorry, boss. I can’t come in today. I’m feeling stupid.”
Are y’all with me? Let us race for the cure.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
The Disembodied Hand, a chilly bump story just for you!
I hear tell some of you like a story that gives you chill bumps.
Full Moons Can Be Dangerous, Experience Speaking
Sometimes what could’ve happened can be funnier than what did, especially if the potential
Welcome back to the Story Table — Lend Me Your Ears, Friend
Hello friend, it's a beautiful evening here on the banks of Lake Providence, LA.
Mary
Girl, I’ve met more than my share of carriers of the virus — and I’ve been hit with it a few times…. well, most of my twenties I spent in the throes of the stupid virus or just SRC.
I’ll be on the look out !
Larry
Does anyone believe that politicians might be inoculated with this upon being elected?
Bob Fitzgerald
Before I got too excited over this, I would make it a point to look at every close member of my family and see if I could determine if there was a possibility of this Stupid gene being in my familys bloodline.
If your Family is like mine, GOOD LUCK!
Olivia
I hate any kind of exercise, but since I have a large group of family and friends who have SRC, I’d be willing put on some running shoes and run for the “cure”
Heard once, a man asked a friend if mental illness ran in his family. The man replied, “Nooo, it always stops and visits for a long time..”
With the holidays coming up we will be forced to spend time with many SRC people who we love and only wish the best, but we like’em better when they are in another state.
And I do believe SRC is caused by a virus, I know by the time Christmas is over I have a terrible case of SRC myself and it takes months to recover.