Just in Time! The 2012 All Things Southern Don’t Go There Gift Guide

Hello folks, let’s chat…I’m on a mission. I realize Christmas is closing in and everyone is very busy, so I’ll get right to it. Due to the number of Straight Running Crazy gift ideas online, I’m preparing a holiday guide for the shopping impaired. Feel free to send in your own nominations. This is just the rough draft. I’m calling it the 2012 ATS Don’t Go There List.

 

1. Beginning with the Duck Dynasty fan, there are plenty of credible gift options available. Don’t go there with the Boss Hog Chia pet that grows a big green Willie beard. It’s scary, and it ain’t right.

 

2. If you’re shopping for your canine, skip the “Woofer.” It’s nothing more than a dog jacket with speakers and a place to insert an IPod, Phone, or MP3 player so you can turn your pet into a walking band. Dixie says if you go there, she hopes you get bit changing channels. That ain’t right, either, but what ‘cha gonna do?

 

3. Fellow belles, while shopping for that special bubba, you may run across something called the Mullet on the Go. These are basically long wigs attached to headbands. Billy Ray Cyrus wouldn’t even go there. Neither should you.

 

4. Your parents will probably say they don’t need anything. I understand. You still want to give them something that says you care. Don’t go there with the “His and her Dental Floss.” The only thing that says is, “Please cut me out of the will.”

 

5. Men, I’ve saved you for last because people who wait ‘til Christmas Eve to do their shopping need my help the most. Your Sweet Thang doesn’t want the Scented Pancake Necklace or Bacon Flavored Perfume. Remember, this is not about you. As for the USB Brain Massager, they’re trying to trick you by using the word “spa” in the description.  A helmet that plugs into the computer and massages her scalp will be an epic fail in the big romantic gift swap. Trust me. You don’t want to go there.

 

That’s it for now. The ATS 2012 Don’t Go There list will remain posted here throughout the holiday for easy referral. Merry Christmas, Kids!

Hugs, Shellie