On Jumping off the Bridge and Extenuating Circumstances

Hello folks, let’s chat…Ah, Spring! According to Tennyson, it’s “When a young man’s fancy turns to love.” I would add that the young man has all kinds of company. Did y’all know an African Moon Moth recently landed on the side of a reporter’s head during a live television spot and laid two eggs in the man’s ear? In broad daylight. That I know of, no one has called for a congressional investigation or anything. I’m not okay with that, but moving right along.

I actually have another lovesick story to tell y’all about today, coming to us all the way from China. It concerns a young man named Wu who found himself in a straight running crazy love triangle. I think we’ll call him Romeo for fun.

Poor Romeo was torn between two lovers. His ex girlfriend wanted him back. She was basically harassing his current flame and making all their lives miserable when Romeo applied some deep male logic to the situation and decided that inviting both angry women to a meet and greet on a nearby bridge would fix everything. It did not go well. Imagine that.

Things went from bad to worse quickly when Romeo’s ex up and jumped in the river, and demanded that Romeo save her. Not to be outdone, his current Sweetie jumped in, too, and called on Romeo to prove his love by saving her instead.

Choices. Choices.

I don’t know about Romeo’s raising, but this is the type of extenuating circumstance my Southern Mama didn’t cover in the “If everybody else jumps off the bridge, are you going to jump, too?” speech.

The article didn’t not say how long Romeo studied the tricky situation but in the end he dove in and pulled his Current Sweetie to safety. Well played, Romeo. Let the record show, however, that he also asked his brother to save the other woman– via a phone call… on the couple’s way home.

And they say chivalry is dead. Take heart, single girls. Chivalry’s not dead. It’s just limping here and there.