SRC Alert

Hello folks, it’s nice to see y’all back by the porch. I was hoping to squeeze in a visit before I hit the road for Jefferson, TX and the annual Pulpwood Queen’s Girlfriend Weekend. It’s unlike any other book festival in the world. If you want to experience it from afar, follow my Twitter and Facebook feeds through the weekend. Right now, we need to chat…~smile~

A bit of Straight Running Crazy news crossed my desk recently. “Self,” I said, “the twenty-four seven news cycle will have briefed everyone on this dangerous development by the time your little column hits the airwaves.” Myself agreed, but just to be on the safe side, we decided to share it with y’all.

To demonstrate the advanced capabilities of their military intelligence, Iran claims to have videotaped and photographed a U.S. aircraft carrier in the strategic waters of the Persian Gulf, proving that A) they can now take pictures of huge objects hiding in plain sight and B) military intelligence in the right sentence can be an oxymoron.

But seriously, these nuclear hungry people are just SRC enough to threaten all mankind. It’d be a mistake to take these folks lightly. We need a game plan, here, and while I’m confident that the Pentagon is all over it, I don’t mind tossing out the occasional idea. Allow me to begin with a story for illustration, this from a Louisiana belle currently living in the fine Show-Me state of Missouri. It’s a classic example of what I call Girls Gone Belle.

Christy was having lunch out by herself recently when she noticed a man at a nearby table staring at her. The stranger had big crazy eyes and he was licking his lips and smacking loudly. Taken together, these things creeped Christy out and convinced her that he could be a serial killer. Granted, he could’ve simply encountered a tough piece of meat, but belles are nothing if not dramatic. Seriously freaked out by the whole thing, Christy did what she had to do. She chewed a big mouthful of BBQ and spit it out very, very slowly. It worked. The possible serial killer exited quickly; stage left.

Christy said her daddy always told her that when in the face of danger, she should act crazier than the madman. Obviously, it’ll be up to you fine folks at the Pentagon to decide what that looks like with Iran. I’m just saying, don’t be skeered to think outside
the box.

Hugs,
Shellie