Those Funny California Folks, At It Again

Hello folks, let’s chat…Those funny California folks are at it again. This time they’re trying to start a new movement to have funeral outlets located in shopping malls so you can make those big decisions about skinny jeans and coffins at the same time. Advocates say they want to remove the intimidation of death by making funeral planning part of your everyday life, thus taking shop ’til you drop to a whole other level.

I suppose it’s my southern roots but the most interesting part of this story for me is that they find planning one’s own funeral intimidating in the first place. The generation above me has been working out the details of their last get-together as long as I can remember. Surely y’all haven’t forgotten Aunt Marleta’s request to have her family position her face to the audience before rigor mortis sets in? I think we can all agree that was a classic.

And then there’s Mama who loves getting me in a conversation about what she intends to give to whom when it comes time to dole out her earthly belongings. When I complain that her demise is not my favorite topic of reflection she waves me off with barely a fare-thee-well. I’ve even heard her openly muse on how much fun it’d be to promise the same thing to everyone and watch the fun from the safety of her heavenly perch. I’m not about to imply that the devil is in Mama’s details, I have too much respect for my elders to go there.

But, it does bring me back to my problem with those funeral outlets in the mall. I was thinking the trend sounded disrespectful, so I polled the Golden Girls, AKA Mama and her sisters. They hated the idea. Because it was crass? Well, yes. And disrespectful to the dead, well, yes again. But their biggest concern was that a good sale could steal their final thunder.

Or, as their official spokeswoman, Aunt Marleta, put it: No southern woman worth her salt could pass up a half-price sale on the casket of her choice.

Hugs, Shellie