What are the odds, math wizards?

Hello folks, let’s chat… Did you hear? A professor in New York City thinks we should drop Algebra as a requirement for high school graduation because it’s cruel and very few of us use it in our everyday lives. Excuse me?! I believe those were my exact words back in the day. But was anybody listening to Shellie? Oh, no! They said I was just trying to get out of Mr. Baxter Deal’s Algebra class– which is exactly what I was doing but whatever.  

The Professor thinks algebra is too hard for today’s students? Please. Yesterdays’ students survived and our kids will, too. We can’t compete in today’s market by dumbing down our curriculum to protect little Shellie’s feelings. If we do, she’ll just go on to test her husband’s last nerve as he tries to decipher her unusual bookkeeping methods, bless his heart. (I love you, Phil!)  

By the way, should Mr. Deal ever come across this column, I’d like to try once more to explain that little “incident” during my Junior year. I slid in class late that fateful morning, clueless to campus chatter that Mr. Deal’s yard had been rolled the night before. All yours truly knew was that Mr. Deal was in a really foul mood and he was ranting about the class before us and how poorly they’d performed on their last test.

“If I don’t grade on the curve they’ll all fail,” he thundered. “What do you think they’d do if I failed ’em all, huh?”

As fate would have it, Mr. Deal was standing in front of me when he put forth that last question. Ever the humorist, I quipped, “They’ll probably roll your yard.” Poor timing is the only thing I was guilty of that day but as Mr. Deal glowered at me suspiciously and my classmates snickered in their books, I realized I was in big trouble. What are the odds, math wizards?

I never could prove my innocence and it’s a wonder I ever got out of Algebra, but it proves that miracles happen. Keep Algebra and there will always be prayer in school!   

Hugs, Shellie