What’s Really Behind Global Warming, a theory by The Belle of All Things Southern

Hello folks, let’s chat…I could be wrong here, but it seems like ever since Mr. Gore sold his television network to Big Oil, he has piped down considerably on the whole global warming thing. I suppose he did catch a lot of flack, but I was just funning when I started calling him Big Al Queda, y’all!

Hello folks, let’s chat…Seriously, I have my own global warming theory, and I feel a certain amount of personal responsibility for my part in it. See, my girlfriends and I are beginning to suspect that we might be at least partially to blame for the rise in our planet’s temperature. Take my friend Hot Janet, for instance. There’s a great story behind her new name.

Hot Janet teaches Sunday School to the wee ones at her local church. Recently, one of her students, a boy child, advanced to the 3-4 year old class with another teacher who also happens to be named Janet. In attempting to differentiate between his previous teacher and his new one, the little angel told him mother that he wasn’t in Hot Janet’s class anymore. To her credit, Hot Janet is being very humble about her new name. She insists it has nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with her jerking the air conditioner up and down and fanning herself during hot flashes.

That’s how my girlfriends and I roll. We know we’re hot. We’re just a little slower to recognize the effect our hotness is having on those around us. Why, the other day my radio producer and I were talking about all the charming aspects of aging when I began harping on these blasted infernos. “At least you men don’t have to deal with these things!” I said. Mike, however,  disagreed.

“Oh, believe you, me,” he said. “We deal. Do we ever deal!”

Hugs, Shellie