Dear Nat’l Media: A suggestion for those clinging to our lightpoles and standing in our ditches (Can I Get a Share or RT? THX!)

******8-29-12 After watching that last storm update, I feel compelled to offer the following pertinent except from my most recent book, Sue Ellen’s Girl Ain’t Fat, She Just Weighs Heavy . Perhaps it will help some to refrain from sharing quite so enthusiastically.  THX! ******

On behalf of my fellow Louisianans, and our many friends in other hard hit areas of the southern region, I’d like to have a come to Jesus meeting* with the weather bureaus, and I’m not talking about our local weather people. Oh, no, this is for those of you in the national media who feel compelled to run down here and cling to our light poles. I’m sure other areas of the country have issues with the way you cover their natural disasters, but I’ll let them speak for themselves.

Here’s the thing. We folks in the Southern states would appreciate y’all reining in the enthusiasm you have for our reocurring tragedies. My girlfriends and I thought Geraldo might flat out hyperventilate during Katrina, running around the Big Easy with his little hand held wind meter, trying desperately to report the most dramatic wind gusts! “I’ve got sixty, sixty-five, now, seventy, now seventy-five!” Once, his camera man got carried away and shouted out, “I’ll take eighty!” Okay, not really, but still. Farmer Hubby would like to hook Mr. Riviera up with a John Deere cap to corral that wild and wooly hair, but methinks the G-man feels it adds to the drama.

Not to be outdone by Mr. Riviera, I saw a female weather person on a competing station–and competing would be the key word here as they all try to out hype the others–who was handed an update during her live broadcast which she eagerly and dramatically began reading aloud while the wind and rain whipped her hair in her mouth. Poor Thing, when she got to the part of the bulletin where it said the hurricane was being downgraded, I thought for sure she was gonna cry right there on camera.

Bottom line: you folks are living examples of that old adage, “One man’s tragedy is another’s fortune” and it’s wearing a mite thin.

Hugs,
 Shellie