Meaningful Conversation Can Be Tricky

One day an old man walked into the small town lawyer’s office and announced to the receptionist that he was there to get a divorce. 

After a short wait, he was escorted to the lawyer’s office where he repeated his mission. “I want to get one of them divorces.”

“I see,” the lawyer said. “I’m sorry it’s come to that for you, but I believe I can help. Tell me, do you have any grounds?”

The old man frowned. “Not sure what that has to do with it, but yeah, I got about a hundred fifty acres.”

The lawyer struggled not to laugh. “I’m afraid you misunderstood me,” he said. “I was asking whether or not you had a case?”

The man was just as slow with his answer. “No, sir. Don’t much care for Case. I drive a John Deere, always have.”

The lawyer was beginning to lose his sense of humor. “I mean a grudge. Do you have a grudge I can record for the court?”

“Sure do. I park my car under my grudge.”

They weren’t getting anywhere but the lawyer was determined so he changed tracks slightly. “Sir, is there any reason to believe that you have a good suit?”

The older man was getting irritated himself. “I reckon I do,” he said. “I wear it to church every Sunday.”

The lawyer was beginning to wonder if he was on a remake of Candid Camera, but he forced himself to try one more time. “Do you beat your wife up, sir? Does she beat you up?”

When his new client responded that they usually got up about the same time, it was all the lawyer could do not to scream. It took everything he had to keep from raising his voice when he asked his visitor if he could simply tell him why he wanted a divorce.

“Why, that’s easy,” the older man said. “I can’t seem to have a meaningful conversation with the woman.”