Playing Chase with a Confused Cool Hand Luke

Hello folks, let’s chat…When my sisters and I were growing up back on Bull Run Road, we played Chase Don’t Touch the Ground under Papa’s equipment shed. It was a dangerous game, but at least we outgrew it. Not everyone does.

For illustration, I give you a story ripped straight from the headlines. It involves a 36 year old man from South Carolina. We’re going to call him Cool Hand Luke for reasons that will soon become clear. According to the police report, officers followed Cool Hand Luke for miles with their lights flashing and sirens sounding but he wouldn’t pull over. He led them back to his own house instead.

Upon arriving, Cool Hand Luke reportedly ignored the officer’s instructions to remain in his car. He got out anyway and began making his way towards his front door. “Put your hands up!” the officers yelled. “You’re under arrest.”

That’s when Cool Hand Luke reached out, put his hand on the side of his house and calmly explained that they couldn’t arrest him now because he was “on base.”

That’s right. From all accounts, Cool Hand Luke was confused on where the childhood game of chase ends and the adult game of jail time begins. I’m thinking he’s figuring it out now. Especially since he was quickly subdued and charged with a number of offenses including: driving without a license, failure to stop for blue lights, resisting arrest, and surprise surprise — driving while intoxicated.

My friends and I think it would be hard not to have some fun with Cool Hand Luke if we were involved with his trial in any way whatsoever.

Paulette said if she were on the jury, she’d try to get the others to play musical chairs. I said if I were the judge, I’d pretend to use rock, paper, scissors for the sentencing.

“Yeah, Shellie!” Bubba said. “And someone could tell Cool Hand Luke that his new cell block friends would probably be happy to play Kiss Chase.”

“Um…tic, tac, no,” I told Bubba. “That’s just wrong.”