Sassy Shots, Kitchen Tips, and Heart Help

Hey y’all! And greetings from Gulf Shores, Alabama! The bestie and I are here enjoying a few days of fun in the sun. You can find more pics than you care to see on my social media accounts *grin* but here are a couple for you. I’m enjoying being on the beach before the sun comes up in the mornings. It’s a blessing to begin the day walking with Jesus, (and Mr. Blue here.)

I’ve also meet some most interesting new friends. I’m sure I’ll be blogging about them in the near future, but I can hear the beach calling my name right now! Note: Red and I are the worlds’ worst selfie takers and we don’t plan to practice, so there’s that, but we did have fun trying for this beach memory!

I prepared this week’s podcast for y’all before I left home! In this episode I address “The Skinny Arm”, or what I’m calling “The Angry Arm”. Yeah, I felt it was my duty to society. It’s got to stop. I’m not doing it anymore and neither should you!  There’s also a kitchen tip, some prayer help, and a visit with best-selling author Linda Kozar to talk about her new book, Biscuits, Butter and Blessings, Farm-Fresh Devotions for Hope and Comfort. Now, I’ve heard from many of you that you can’t seem to find or play the podcast. Again, the file will be at the bottom of this blog post, and you just need to click on the arrow to hear. Alternatively, you can go to iTunes and subscribe FREE and every time I update the podcast, you would get a notification.

That said, I hate to think of anyone being frustrated, so with no further ado, and to show you some love, here’s a partial transcription of this week’s podcast!

“Sassy Shots, Kitchen Tips, and Heart Help”

Hey y’all, welcome back to ATS LIVE, but it’s not. How’s that sound to you? I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with our name ever since I moved from live radio to podcasting. I mean, I eventually plan to Facebook live during the podcast, so on one hand I think I should leave the name. But, on the other – the sound file is recorded, so, I’m torn…The only thing that makes me smile right now, is adding on a bit of context without completely changing the name, hence Welcome to ATS LIVE but it’s not. Let me know what you think about it…k?

And now, let’s chat…I quit. You heard it hear first, y’all. I’m not doing it anymore and you shouldn’t either.

I know how it started. But it’s got to stop.

I’m talking about the hand on the hip camera pose. You’ve seen it. Heck, you’ve done it. I understand it even has a name.  They call it, “The Skinny Arm”.

At some point in the distant past, some joker started this silly trend and sold us all on the idea that our arms would look thinner if we propped our hands on our hips. They had us at the word thinner, am I right? And so, we did. We put our hands on our hips and faced the camera like a bunch of Clint Eastwood wannabes, just begging someone to make our day. And then we repeated this valuable posing info to every female we knew, until they did it, too. But what did we do exactly?

We have created an online world where everybody and their mama looks like they want to fight!  I have a theory—not so coincidentally, this trend has coincided with our increasingly angry public square. I’m just tossing this out for discussion, folks.

When we were teenagers my oldest sister had this habit of pulling her shoulders back and holding her fists at waist level every time our parents spoke to her. Whether she meant it to or not, it sent a signal that she was ready to fight if they were. It never did turn out well, am I right CynCyn?

Buck back to our posing. IT has gotten way too difficult.

I’m nostalgic for the days when we just smiled at the camera. Now, I’ve heard far too many tips…The head should be tilted ever so slightly sideways. Granted, which is easy for us southern girls, we have an inborn tendency to tilt our heads when we see a camera pointing at us. I’ve written about this at length before. I think our southern mamas plant magnets in our heads. We can try not to do the head tilt, but by golly, before that lens snaps, our heads are gonna migrate together in a tilt, so help us smart phone.

And then there are all the other best pose tips…Sideways, for sure, always sideways, and for goodness sakes, put one leg in front of the other.  Stick your ears out to create a sharper neckline, but make sure your chin is forward and down, or is that your forehead out and up? I give.

Reminds me of the summer I took up golf. Kinda. Sorta. My husband, he Mr. Notoriously good athlete of all sports, wanted me to learn to love golf in addition to my favs, basketball and tennis.

Only, I went out to hit some practice balls on my own because he was farming, and what do you know. All these frustrating helpful golfers kept coming by and giving me tips. Pull your elbows in. Not so much. Loosen your grip. Tighten your grip. Turn your right hand clockwise. Put your thumb here, no there. Sit into the shot, stand up more. Bend your knees. Not so much with your left…By the end of the second day of help, and the 100th tutor, I was standing there like a twisted pretzel making hitting that little white ball virtually impossible. I retreated to the tennis courts where the ball at least went in the direction I was aiming it, even if it found the net or sailed back the lines.

It all has me thinking of a recent photo shoot I was involved in…I posted a pic of that one on my Instagram…I called it the “How Rednecks Do Headshots” ’cause I needed a new head shot and my dear daughter-in-law is my photog and my grands were in it to win it! Emerson Ann held the reflecting tool for her mom, Carlisle Mae held a battery operated fan near my face but just out of camera range because, Louisiana. And the youngest, Weston the Wonder Boy held a stick up nearby because he had to hold something and why not a stick?

The good news? I didn’t put my hands on my hip, once.

Goodbye Angry Arm. Let’s just stop y’all. And smile, we’re on someone’s camera.

Bumpers

Have y’all heard about the new hi tech mirror? It “helps” women by pointing out their facial flaws.  The mirror automatically displays percentages for problem areas like wrinkles, fine lines, dark circles, red spots and pores.  Then the mirror suggests the right creams or lotions to deal with the problem areas – and keeps a diary of your daily usage of the creams.

Really now…my mirror doesn’t need any help hurting my feelings.

Mirror, mirror on the wall….zip your lip or take a fall.

 

BUMPERS

Interview

Not transcribing the author interview, dear ones, but again, hit the play button at the bottom of this page for a lovely chat with author Linda Kozar, about her new devotional, Biscuits, Butter, and Blessings. 

 

 

BUMPERS

So, Summer, I didn’t write this rhyme, but you move me to repeat it.
Raise your hands
Touch your toes
If anything shows
Change your clothes
#bringingmodestyback
#raisethestandard
#straightoutoflakeprovidence

Comfort

I’m a needy woman, a leaking vessel, loving the God who is pleased to fill me again and again. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

I don’t come morning by morning for a fix or a feeling, I come to be filled.

Me again, folks– this was a fast transcribe, and not complete, but again, the ocean is calling.

Thank y’all from the bottom of my heart for being a part of the All Things Southern community. Y’all rock!

Hugs, Shellie

 

 

 

 

 

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