Shellie Has Gentle Advice for the Sweet Troopers

Hello folks, have a seat and let’s chat…~smile~ So, the morning of Mama’s big surgery, I’m driving down the interstate minding my own business when the driver in front of me changes lanes and simultaneously exposes yours truly to a stranger standing under the overpass and pointing a gun straight at my eyeballs. I liketa died. Okay, so he was a trooper and it was a radar gun, but I got your attention, didn’t I? Well, let the record show he got mine, too. I would say my entire life flashed in front of me in that nano second before I realized he was an officer of the law, but I didn’t get that far. There was way too much commentating up there. Still, it was scary.

With all due respect, I have a suggestion for troopers everywhere, “Let’s not.” Please don’t misunderstand. I appreciate the dangers y’all face on our behalf and the crazy things you deal with, like that woman in Florida who was clocked for speeding and wouldn’t stop because she was driving to her boyfriend’s house— topless, to surprise him. Have mercy. As Papa might say, “Some people need the fear of God put in ‘em.” But as for the rest of us, it’s just not right.

I get it. You need the speed gun, but what if you gave it a less aggressive look? I have a couple suggestions that might get your creative juices flowing. You could always hide it inside a stuffed animal. Think about it, you might even want to use your state mascot! No? Okay, how about this, get yourself a photo board like they have in amusement parks, you know, the ones that have Elvis’ body painted on the front and holes cut out for your sweet face and that nasty speed gun. Yes, I realize this would eliminate the element of surprise, but it’d be a real conversation starter and getting pulled over is so unpleasant. You’re welcome. I’m just a law-abiding citizen wanting to do her part to clean up the seats, I mean the streets. Actually, I mean the seats and the streets…

Hugs,
Shellie