Sonny Gets His Wings

Several folks have written in asking about Cousin Sonny, who is well known for being so lazy he wouldn’t walk in his sleep. And, what’s worse, Sonny couldn’t tell the truth if his life depended on it. Personally, I wouldn’t believe the boy if he swore he was lying. But, y’all asked, so I called his folks. I can report that after thirty something years Sonny finally moved out of his parent’s house and clear across the country to California. That’s the good news. It kind of goes downhill from there.

Last week Sonny emailed his mama and told her he’d got a job in a bank, if you can believe it! “Tell Dad for me,” he wrote. “That should be a feather in my cap.”

All his daddy had to say was, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

The next week they got a phone call from Sonny. They missed it, but he left a message on their answering machine. “I bought into a restaurant,” he said, “and it’s doing great. That should be another feather in my cap!” Aunt Maddy got mad when his daddy rolled his eyes. A few days later his mama got another email from Sonny. “Guess what? I’m engaged to a wealthy woman,” he reported. “Even Daddy will have to say that’s a feather in my cap.”

My uncle said they should just sit on the news but Aunt Maddy, bless her heart, had spread it all over the community by the time they got the next update. This time it was a text message on Aunt Maddy’s cell phone. “I lost everything, Mama,” the text read. “Can you send money for a plane ticket, home?”

Uncle’s John’s not a big text message man, but he took her phone and persevered. A few minutes later hit send on a note that read, “Just glue those feathers to your rear end, son, and fly home.”

~Shellie