Are you a self-soother?

Hank and his lovies are moving me in early morning prayers…

This is new for Hank, this gathering up of all his lovies and toting them around. Phil and I think it’s his way of dealing with the loss of his brother Beaux, but that’s another story my heart can’t tell right now.

My kids and grands have all had their own “lovies”. The textbook sounding definition of a lovie would be a familiar object such as a stuffed animal or a favorite blanket to which a wee one forms an emotional attachment that makes them feel safe and helps them to comfort themselves. Horses, giraffes, dinosaurs, and rabbits, my grands’ lovies have taken many forms and I’m thankful my grown kids have been so intentional about starting each of their littles off with their own lovies from day one.  We give our children and grandchildren a valuable life skill by helping them learn to manage their emotions without always needing someone else to right what’s wrong.

Granted, even the best of intentions can hit a snag…

Back in the day my toddler son was devoted to a well-worn blanket that sported one bundled up corner of wadded cotton matting. We didn’t realize Phillip considered this to be Blankey’s head until he had a complete meltdown because some totally innocent person accidentally sat on Blankey’s face. Her name is not important here and story time is now over.

Comforting oneself with something familiar is known as self-soothing. And again, our grands’ bond with their lovies and their ability to use them to self-soothe can be a good thing that we want to encourage. But, do take care. If a child is bonded to a lovie do not, and I repeat do not, lose said lovie while they are in your care. Not if you value peace on earth.

Here’s another much more serious warning for us bigger people. As Christians we must be mindful not to develop our own lovies out of otherwise wonderful spiritual disciplines like church attendance, prayer, and Bible study. I realize I need to explain that. Stay with me. I’m simply speaking from life experience. I know firsthand that we can use such spiritual disciplines as security blankets to self-soothe ourselves right out of God’s fellowship if we see them as ways to feel right with God, instead of tools to grow closer to Him.

Our spiritual disciplines are good and wholly necessary, but if we aren’t seeking God in them, and listening for Him to speak to us, we’re creating self-soothing lovies. No amount of reading, praying, or church going can save our souls, and no amount of spiritual disciplines can sustain our souls if we’re checking them off instead of using them to hear God for ourselves, and determining to respond with obedience.

Our spiritual practices or “lovies”, if you will, aren’t the real thing. God is.

Blessings, y’all.

Hugs, Shellie

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