The Joke’s On Me!

BREAKING NEWS: Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty will be joining me in the studio tomorrow for ATS LIVE! Among other questions I have for him after reading his book, Si-Cology, will be the story about the time he saw an alligator eat an entire village in Vietnam. Oh, yeah. This should be fun! You can listen live through the website or download the FREE TALK540 app for your iPhone and listen on the go. Showtime is 5:00 to 6:00 Pm Central! I hope you’ll make plans to join us!

And now back to your regularly scheduled porch chat:

Hello folks, let’s chat…Remember the story I told y’all about the child who asked her grandfather if fish sticks were made of chicken? No, I didn’t make it up, but it did elicit a number of tales from the rest of you, reminding me that these “Lights are on but nobody’s home” moments aren’t confined to the wee ones.

Like the following story from my friend Tonya, a fantastic cook who sells her wares at the open air Market in Baton Rouge. Tonya reported hearing one adult who was way out of her school years approach a vendor who offers several different kinds of honey. “Might I ask,” the buyer said. “Do bees make your honey?” The correct answer is: Yes, ma’am, you can ask. And we can laugh.

Then there was Renea in Tennessee who took her daughter and some other teenage girls to visit a local pick your own produce farm. Renea reports that one of the teenage belles was more impressed than the others. “Wow,” the girl said. “I’ve never seen a real live tractor!”  Nor have I. I kind of wish she would’ve sent pics.

Of course, because God has a great sense of humor, I was right in the middle of collecting these funnies when I became the next punch line.

It happened that I was exiting the bathroom stall of a new restaurant with top notch facilities when I noticed an adorable little girl washing her hands at the sink. Even as I smiled at the cutie pie, I realized she wasn’t going to be able to reach the motion detector towel dispensers. You know—the kind you have to wave at. Thinking how odd it was that no adult was with her, I hurried to wash my own hands so I could assist the helpless little thing.

I waved my hands under the soap dispenser, then I wave again, and then again. I wasn’t through trying when my new little friend found her tongue. “Ma’am,” she said, shyly. “I had to push the button.”

Smarty pants.

Hugs, Shellie

P.S. Hey folks! Here’s the latest update on the 30 Days of Thankfulness Drive: We’re closing in on $4,000 and our goal this year is $96oo. That amount will allow us to drill TWO wells in needy villages where people are without the basic life necessity of clean drinking water. Here’s a link to a video I put together about the drive. Please find the details here, and join us using this easy donation link. I’m asking everyone to donate $10 and then share the mission by posting “$10 I’m In!” on your social media accounts. Together our “littles” can become a lot! THANK YOU!