Beware Dormant Butt Syndrome

Hello folks, how goes it? Me? I’m so over Corona Crazy. So. Over. It. However, I’m continuing to adjust my daily prayers as I ask Father God to have His way in this season and not my will.

If I had my way, we would blink, and this would disappear like a bad nightmare. At the same time, I recognize it’s in crisis that people turn to God, and we sorely need a great turning back to God in our poor world!

Oh, please hear me. I do not belittle the tragedy of those who are sick with Covid19, those who have died with it, or those who are mourning their loved ones who have succumbed. My prayers are with you day and night. But dying without Jesus is the graver danger, by far. I do not believe God sent this to our world, but for whatever reason, He is allowing it. This just may be a merciful door to a great ingathering of lost souls. To think of it any other way is simply too far above my pay grade. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

In other news, I’m losing track of the Straight Running Crazy developments around us. I don’t know how many times a person can say, “This is just crazy”, but me and mine are up to a gazillion plus.

For instance, did you hear about the 27-year-old woman who was arrested only a few days ago in the N.O. airport for traipsing up to the ticket counter completely nekkid. Nekkid. First, I wasn’t aware the airport was even open, but apparently, it’s running on a barely-there schedule. (Points if you caught that.)

The woman was from Colorado. She had a hissy fit when the ticket agent said she couldn’t ride nekkid, and she refused to leave, claiming her rights and all. I’m not sure what those are. Is the right to be nekkid in the constitution? You scholarly type can get back to me.

Anyway, by the time the police came she had put on a dress. Kinda. Sorta. It was described as extremely short, (think shirt) and she had neglected to add underwear to her ensemble, so they arrested her anyway for indecent exposure and resisting arrest. It’s before my day, but I hear tell people used to dress up to fly. Imagine that…

In somewhat related news, Dormant Butt Syndrome is back on my radar. To refresh your memory– and offer you fair warning — I give you this piece from a couple years ago…

Hello folks, let’s chat…I was just a sweating on my treadmill this morning when I thought to myself, “I wish I could strip off all of my clothes and share this moment with a roomful of other nekkid exercisers.” Okay, you’re right. I’ve never thought that, not even once. But, apparently, some people have.

Nude Exercising is a growing trend, especially Nude Yoga. I read about it on the Internet and you know you can believe everything you read on the Internet. I mean, the only reason I was on my treadmill in the first place is because I didn’t want to get Dormant Butt Syndrome.

I read about that on the Internet, too. It’s a real thing. Dormant Butt Syndrome (DBS) is what happens when you sit too often. That got my attention. I’m a writer, after all. It’s why I can bring you this kind of super important information. You’re welcome.

If Dormant Butt Syndrome sounds like your gluteus maximus fell asleep, you might have a promising career as an Internet doctor. That’s about how they described it. If our gluteus takes too many naps, we get knee, back, and hip pain. Which sounded like one more reason to stay in shape to me, hence my research, which in turn led me to the nude yoga articles. And you thought I’d forgotten what we were talking about.

Yoga is still big business, y’all, clothes or no clothes. Actor Tom Hanks practices it, only he calls his poses “glorified sit ups”; thinks it sounds more manly. He also claims yoga has kept him from having any of the regular aches and pains of aging. I don’t know if I believe that. I’m in decent enough shape, but it’s been my experience that middle age comes with creaks here and there. Mr. Hanks might be into glorified sit-ups, but I hit 50 a couple years back and I’ve become a fan of glorified sit-downs.

It’s why my darling man and I say things to each other like, “Let’s get up so we can sit down.”  If you don’t understand that, give it time. Dormant Butt Syndrome. It sneaks up on you. 

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming. Should this thing tarry on, I’m going to have a serious case of DBS, combined with what I’m calling the Covid19lbs, which is similar to the Freshman 15. One of the main culprits would be my new found skill—I’m making bread! Sourdough bread! Remember? I told y’all about it last time and promised you a recipe and an update. You can find it here, but remember, portion control is where it’s at! 

That’s about it for now. Y’all take care, stay safe, and this is just me—but I’d like to see you keep your clothes on, too.  

Hugs,
Shellie