Crow is Never Tasty

Hello folks, let’s chat… As the election draws nearer, and the rhetoric gets more and more heated, I think we could all stand to be reminded to keep our speech seasoned with salt, lest we be forced to eat crow. And crow, my friends, is never tasty, which of course reminds me of a story… experience.

It happened years ago at the Dairy Queen that used to be uptown. One summer day my friend and I drove up to the pick-up window. A hostile girl in a dirty uniform banged the window open and glared at us. I could see right off she was operating without the customer’s always right code.

“We had two burger plates for Shellie,” I offered patiently.
“Shirley?”
“Shellie.”
“Sherry?”
“Shellie.”
“Sheila?”
“Shellie!”

I don’t know if she’d got it or she got tired of playing because she banged the window shut and left. We watched and waited as she scanned the tickets, searched the counters and took a phone order. And still we waited. Matter of fact, so much time elapsed that the next time she passed the window she looked almost surprised to find us there. The window banged open.

“We’re still waiting on our burgers,” I said, less patiently.

“I couldn’t find ‘em.” She stared at me. I stared back. My friend was whispering just order again, but this had become a matter of principle. We were two gunslingers at the OK corral.

“Could you look again?” I asked testily. The window shut even harder. Sometime later, she returned with an announcement. For any English teachers listening, it’s a direct quote. “I can’t find no order for Shellie.”

I no longer wanted a burger. I wanted to choke her down to her knees.
I took a deep breath and faced Ms. Dairy Queen, “Look! I called the order in myself. Granted, it’s been a long time now, but I remember the conversation. Someone answered the phone and said, “Sonic Drive-In, may I help you?” And that’s when it hit me.

Avoiding Miss Dairy Queen’s gaze, I rolled up the window and hit the gas…I’m thinking she probably tells this story, too. I’m not sure I wanna hear her version.

Hugs,
Shellie