Me, Mama, and Vladamir Putin?!
Hello folks, let’s chat…You know you have a real Southern Mama when you get a handwritten note from her in the U.S. mail, expressing appreciation for the food you prepared during her most recent surgery– and it covers all the rules for proper thank you notes: name, exclaim, and fame. I have photographic evidence of such a note that I recently received from Mama, the Queen of Us All.
I also expounded on those rules in my book Suck Your Stomach In and Put Some Color On. But you’ll have to look that up if you need a refresher course. I want to talk about Baltimore Mama.
For the most part, Baltimore Mama’s fifteen minutes of fame have come and gone. So, for those who missed it, I’m talking about the woman who was watching rioters throwing rocks at police on her TV when she recognized her only son among the lawbreakers despite his attempts to go incognito in a mask and hoodie. Baltimore Mama marched down to the riot, whooped her man child around the head, and promptly found herself making the talk show rounds before Baltimore Boy could say “Peace out” to his fellow hoodlums.
Baltimore Mama’s language was a tad blue on the video, so if you’ll permit me to translate it into southern speak it was something like, “Throw another rock and see if I don’t knock you in the middle of next week!”
I’m really not interested in rehashing the debate that followed that very public chastising, but I will say that I appreciate anyone who stands against the steady eroding of civil society. Strangely enough, this position recently gave both Mama and me cause to find an isolated point of agreement with Vladimir Of All People Putin and his fellow commies. Crazy? Read on…
Did you know that last month a Russian court sentenced several young girls to jail time and heavy fines for starring in a dance video that featured them twerking in front of a World War II memorial? Twerking. In front of a war memorial. If you don’t know what it means to twerk neither Mama nor I are prepared to describe it to you but suffice to say we both felt the court’s ruling almost warranted a thank you note to the evil empire. Almost.
Hugs, Shellie
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Lucy Sanguinetti
My momma, age 83, is the epitome of the true southern woman, as well. She taught me that there is nothing quite as special as getting a written note in the mail, a trait that I have carried on to my children. Ironically, as I opened this email to read this, I had just written my own momma a hand written note and included a cute little write-up called “Why God Made Moms”…written by children. I thought she would enjoy chuckling at the cute reasons the children came up with as to why God made moms. I had just stuffed it in the envelope and hand addressed it as I reached to open your post. God is good…all the time….with simple, sweet reminders of all the things our momma told us that we need to remember. Get to writing, girls!!
Shellie
Cool! I love that you had just written your mama a note– even as you were opening the newsletter. Bless her! Bless you~
Florence
Having read the autobiography by Auburn football player, Bo Jackson (War Eagle!!) and knowing his own mom barred the door with her own body, a hot iron, and a crow bar, threatening to use them if he tried to leave and join a gang, he understood she’d rather lose him by her own hand than to worry about his future, I understand this Baltimore mom’s tough love. I’d do the same.
Never for a moment did I believe this young man in Baltimore feel his life was in real danger. She hit AT him, rather than attack his flesh. To the people who wrote such columns about her “abuse”, I’ve yet to see anyone comment she would give her life for him in a heartbeat! And, she would.
Shellie
I need to read that autobiography of Bo Jackson!
Renee
Couldn’t agree more! When I was a kid and was tempted to behave like a hoodlum, knowing that what my mother would do to me if would be worse than anything the cops could do, kept me on the straight and narrow on several occasions! The “elite” who tried to claim Baltimore Mom was being abusive are morons … but then, who outside the elite didn’t know that?
Shellie Rushing Tomlinson
Let’s hear it for Mamas who kept up on the straight and narrow– or else!